Earn.
It turns out I've been thinking about that word, too.
While vacationing in North Carolina and traveling about last week, I skipped a few runs, so I am currently playing catch up. I have also been sleeping late, which is something I said I would not do last October. Not wanting to miss another day of training, I set out this afternoon to hopefully run 7.5 miles, the long run I skipped on Saturday. Before I left, I posted the following on Facebook:
When I run on summer afternoons, I have to self-talk as if I am a small child. "But once you finish your run, you can go get ice cream!"I drove downtown and parked a few spaces down from Kaleido- sno, a local cafe that sells New Orleans-style snowballs. A snowball would be my post-run treat; surely after 7.5 miles, I could still stumble to my car and grab the necessary cash from my purse. By then, I would have earned a cold, sweet snowball.
After I parked, I popped my trunk to throw my purse in and started my warm-up walk. I am not sure I had even made it onto the sidewalk before I was approached by an unfamiliar woman, dressed neatly but certainly looking tired. We chatted briefly about how hot and humid it was outside, then she asked me if I would give her a ride to West Rome. Explaining that I had just gotten downtown to go exercise -- hadn't she seen me get out of my car? -- I offered to call her a cab or get her something to eat. She thanked me and asked for bus fare. I explained that I do not like to give cash but would be happy to buy her something to eat while she waited.
"Bus fare is only $1.25," she said.
Reluctantly, I reached into my car and fished $1.25 out of my Sonic fund, the money I keep for when I decide I need a slush or limeade. I just wanted to start my run. How am I supposed to know how much bus fare is, anyway?
The truth of the matter is that I have recently read several stories about people asking for rides before robbing or harming the drivers. How could I discern her true intentions? I did not want to be the next victim on the local news website, I just wanted to start my run. I have a medal to earn, after all.
As I left the deli and the woman, I caught a glimpse of my sorority crest on my Camelbak water bottle and started to reflect on the past few minutes. What kind of example was I being, as a sorority woman but also as a human? When faced with an opportunity to help someone, had I stayed true to my personal value set? Maybe, maybe not. Was my training run -- one that I was already five days late for -- really so important? I didn't think I had been rude, and I definitely did not feel comfortable giving this woman a ride, but something still didn't feel quite right.
I set off on my run and thought again about the marathon for which I am training and the medal I hope to earn. There it was, that word again. I thought back to the woman. I found myself in a position where I could help her, or offer her something, and I did...sort of. There were deeds I could have done that I did not do. As much as I like to think I have made many of the "right" choices, much of my position in life is not something I necessarily deserved over anyone else. The car the woman saw me climb out of was a gift from my parents when I went to college; they earned the money to purchase it. Was it fair for me to turn her away?
As I struggled through my run -- the dew point was 74! -- I decided to be content with my choice to give her bus fare. I pushed through the training, even though I opted to turn around 1.5 miles in and try the 7.5 miles in the morning. Tired and beat down from a challenging 3 miles, I looked around for the woman as I headed back toward my car and my post-run treat. (I definitely felt I had earned that much!) I didn't see her. Hopefully, she found a bus back home.
I love the way training gives me time to reflect and let my mind wander, but today's situation remains unresolved. Without knowing what she would have actually done if I gave her a ride, it's tough to really know if I did the right thing. After today, I do think I am slightly more aware of my own privilege and how many things I had been given in life. I remain aware that race medals are earned, and I will move forward with my training as planned.
Here's to 7.5 miles tomorrow morning!
